I have been struggling over the last two weeks. I had been told to go on a soft/liquidised diet. In reality I am back to square one and have had to start again and this has been extremely tough. I tried to eat a few things that were a bit more textured and failed by being extremely sick, so cottage pie and fish pie have been out. So porridge liquidised, soup, the fortispip drinks and Scandishakes are my daily fare. I have managed humus, and crisps and melting crackers with soft cheese which I cant explain.
Yesterday Mark and I went to see Mr. Lamah, the surgeon, to follow up. He has a plan of action, I will be reviewed in two months and then if I am still unable to managed a better or acceptable diet I will have the same procedure done again, as two weeks ago. This will stretch the opening and hopefully sort the problem out. If after another three months this does not solve the problem we will try again. However if after six months I am still in this position then I will face surgery to cut out the scar tissue and rejoin the opening.
As for diet I have been told to try things, if they work carry on eating them if not leave it for a bit. It is all very vague and in the mean time I am still losing weight. I have taken things into my own hands and I am seeing an osteopath for my back which is still hurting following the anaesthetist injecting the epidural into my crumbling disc. I am also going to see a nutrition expert doctor in Lewes next week to try to get to a plan. I have been recommended probiotics by various friends, but the consultant does not reckon these work and unhelpfully goes on to say that my gut flora/or lack of is why I have such an upset tummy all the time.
Carrying on my tale of woes, I am still very tired and as today is three months on I feel a bit better but a very long way from normal. I would like to take up exercise again to get my arms looking toned, or really my whole body. But a 20 minute walk seems to knacker me and I need a sleep after.
So having written about positivity I find myself in a spiral of negativity. However Mark and I are off to Verona tomorrow and back on Sunday. This might do the trick. I am guiltily leaving Rowena to her three days of Art A level practical.
I have been listening to a great podcast You, Me and the Big C. This has resonated with me as they are going through a lot of similar stuff. However they are worse off as they are younger and have all had chemo. But if anyone has cancer then this podcast is full of information about money, drugs, infertility and the highs and lows of treatment, and so much more. I am off to the Marsden in London today to see a genetics specialist as both Rowena and I have rare sarcomas.
Fiona Hutchinson’s cancer updates 
You sound as if you are doing all the right things and I’m sure you will feel frustrated with it all and that in turn makes it very difficult to remain positive all the time.Recovery from such a big operation will be very slow I’m sure.I found the tiredness very difficult to cope with but had to accept that I couldn’t do as much as I wanted hence all the knitting.Semi -retirement is a hard thing to get used to as well.I was going to suggest probotics too!!! Are you able to have sweets-barley sugar came to my mind .Hope Rowena goes on well with her practical I’m sure she will be OK and sometimes they are better off on their own (hard to do I know)
Anyway keep smiling and enjoy your trip.
Sue
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