Thursday 26th April – Positivity, Home and operation success

On Tuesday evening I did eventually come home, Tessa came and picked me up. I was cleared to go at about 3 and it took a further 2 and a half hours to get the nutritionist and the doctors to sign me out!! So I am sorry I did not blog yesterday to update everyone on how the procedure went.

I was down in the x-ray operating room at 9.30 am and it was a sedation type investigation when they put a camera down via your throat, then a wire is fed through and along the wire they can put a small balloon which stretches the closure, then a slightly bigger balloon. This has worked and I now have a 12mm opening which is approximately the normal size. My opening will be less stretchy than normal however, and I have to be very careful of what I eat. I was given a local at the back of my throat and then was conscious, but it remember very little. I do remember the end and being shown the x-ray images but then waking up in another room later. I thought it had been about 15 minutes to discover it had taken an hour and 20 minutes! On the ward I felt great and no problems, and I can drink and enjoy it. For quite a while I have been finding everything tastes metallic, and so it is lovely to find that has gone. In hospital I had consommé from home, and tea and water. All going down easily. I met the nutritional team and will be on a follow up from them. So it was clear fluids for the past few days and now it is liquidised food which is a great treat. I do need to the have fortified milkshakes etc. to give me nutrition, but all my blood tests have been totally normal so far.

Yesterday I had a hyper day, I expect it is the rush of having food and nutrition going into my system after a little while of nothing, and today will be quieter. I have a small amount of abdominal pain and a sore throat but otherwise feel great. Also I am looking forward to my mother coming to stay for a while.

Looking back over my blogs I realise that I touched briefly on a philosophy of mine for positive thinking and outlook on life and wanted to expand this. I have just listened to a lady called Beth Greenaway on Facebook who has been very ill with heart problems all her life and has such a positive outlook we can all benefit by, do go and find and listen to her. We are only given one life and no one else can live it for us. So every day what ever the challenges that face us we have to live life, enjoy it and get on with achieving those things we want to achieve. Of all people, I know that we can face challenges and life seems to be hard, but I cannot, and will not let life be miserable, I want to enjoy family, friends, pets, gardens, travel, and eating. Keeping smiling, enjoying life, work and exercise and all essential to who I am, I do not want to be negative. When Rowena had been very ill, I had found that when I was not in hospital being strong for her I would break down and spend a lot of the time being sad and crying (after her treatment I had proper and understandable depression). However her life was in the balance and she very easily could have died and I realised that I had been spending what might be her end of life being miserable. This was a shocking thing to realise and it changed me for ever – I could not bear the idea that we would not have happy times to cherish and enjoy in what might be her end of life. So from then on I tried to enjoy with her and the family any good times, visits to theatres and Harry Potter studios arranged by her uncle Andrew and Rays of Sunshine, walks through London, sunshine, gardens, flowers, shopping, anything really. A good day with her, or racing or with friends or family. As I said, life is for living and not a defeatist attitude that you are too ill to tackle things and a I can’t attitude, better to have tried and failed.

So one day at a time I am going to glory in the double rainbow I saw yesterday, the buzzing energy I had to get things done and the contrasting quieter day in my workshop and with my mother today.